“Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls!”

Sorry! I could not resist starting with that quote. Let me know in the comments if you know where it’s from!

Anyway, hi! My name is Elisa. Not to be confused with Alyssa, Eliza or Elise. If this were an interview, I would tell you I am a passionate and hard-working individual. If this were a first date, I would tell you I am a confident and compassionate woman who has found her voice and takes zero BS. But since it’s you, I’ll try to get to the core of who I am.

After I came home from Nepal (more on this later), I spent a month in my bed, in the dark. Post concussive syndrome and anti-seizure meds completely incapacitated me. In the year that followed, I was mostly a zombie, but I do remember having this thought after the first month: “If I can’t write, can’t edit, dance or even move what good am I? Who am I without those things? If I don’t get my brain back, my personality back, my ability to do more than put a fork to my mouth and shuffle to the bathroom, do I still have value?”

Identity is something every human struggles with at one point or another. I don’t know where you are on your spiritual journey or whether you believe in God or a higher power, but I have come to hold on tightly to these things:

1. I have value because I exist. I am not a cosmic accident who has to strive and toil to prove her worth (found in the Bible, specifically Eph. 2:10, Col. 1:16, Jer. 1:4-5, Psa. 103:8-14 ).
   
2. I am enough. My imperfections do not define me. I am beautiful (also found in the Bible, specifically Psa. 139: 13-16, Psa. 34:5, Prov. 31:30-31).
   
3. I am loved and accepted by the creator of the universe (Also Bible, specifically Psa. 100:3, Rom. 8:14-17, Eph. 1:4-5, 1 John 4:7-16, Rom. 8:37-39).

Once I claimed these as my truths and started saying them to myself, confidence in who I am began to build. It started to be not so terrible that I couldn’t work or couldn’t contribute to society in the ways I was used to. Living with my parents didn’t seem so bad. Being disabled didn’t seem so bad. I was not “that one girl who got a concussion.” I was not a burden to my family and the U.S. tax payer. Instead I was and still am Elisa – worthy, beautiful, loved and accepted!

Like most things in life, being confident in who you are, isn’t a one and done feat – it’s a lifelong journey. I will probably always have to remind myself of my truths. Looking at my reflection in the mirror and telling myself “I am enough” is a nightly occurrence.

Those truths are the most important things about me and before I shared anything else about myself, I wanted to make sure you knew them. It’s so nice to meet you! Until next time!

Love Always,

Elisa