Written in the time of Covid-19 and the general sh*t show that is 2020

The hawk that lives in my neighborhood is upset. At all hours of the day I hear him calling out, crying out. He’s now sitting on the faded green telephone pole across the way, making excessive use of the lungs the Lord gave him. What does he cry for? Who is he trying to reach? Is it possible he knows what the world is like right now? Because he is how I feel on the inside. My mind flies in circles over the same territory, struggling to make sense of what it’s seeing. “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this,” my soul cries.

I always knew humanity was broken. I always knew we needed fixing. But not this broken requiring this much fixing! There is a virus out there which may or may not have been intentionally released into the planet. There are a butt ton of people sick who may or may not have been infected by going to restaurants with their buddies. Black people are being killed. All. The. Time. It feels like the country is falling apart. Why is there a Corona Virus? Why are so many people dying? Why did all this have to happen during an election year?

Just when I feel I’ve gained my equilibrium, something new happens, whether it be on a global or personal scale. Fires have erupted all over the west coast since I first started working on this piece!

I’m writing this mostly to vent, but also to dream. Realistically I know things will get better than worse, then better in never-ending ebs and flows, but I dream of exponential positive improvement. I dream of a country with a genuinely good and non-power hungry person (preferably a woman) at it’s helm. A United States with united states, where its people stand together and built each other up, regardless of party preference.

I dream of a world where people treat one another with kindness and respect. A world that isn’t all about making money and climbing higher at others’ expense. I dream of a world where people celebrate one another’s differences and the word “racism” isn’t in the dictionary because it just doesn’t exist. People are clothed and fed and looked after by those more fortunate. A world where the social model of disability is the only model and accessibility is a given. A world where mental, emotional and spiritual health are just as important as physical health.

I dream of a world where viruses don’t get the chance to become pandemics.

I know my dream for the world is an idealistic fantasy at best, and I suppose what I really want is heaven on earth, but I have to dream. WE have to dream. If we don’t then there is nothing between us and the scorching flames that are reality. If we don’t dream, we don’t hope and we must never stop hoping.

Have hope neighbor hawk, we’ll be OK.

Love Always,

Elisa